Beauty Haul #1

Okie, as requested on my Formspring, here's a list of the skincare products that i have lying in on my dressing table. I don't use all of them at one go of course (I only have 1 face haha) so i normally just pick one randomly depending on my mood.

CLEANSING.

#1 Vichy Purifying Cleansing Gel #2 Clinique Mild Liquid Facial Soap
#3 AquaLabel White Clear Foam #4 Kose Sekkisei Washing Cream

I'm also using Dr Chan's green and blue liquid cleansers as well but i didn't take any photos of them cause it's just 2 white and fat plain bottles and i think you can only purchase it over at Dr Chan's. I remember someone telling me it's kinda similar to this particular cleanser that Watsons/Guardian sells but i really cant remember what brand it is. So if anyone of you know what brand Dr Chan's cleanser is, please let me know k !

TONING.
#1 Clinique Clarifying Lotion #2 Clinique Clarifying Moisture Lotion #3 AquaLabel White Up Lotion
(The Clarifying Moisture Lotion is without alcohol and is really good for times of outbreak)

#1 SK II Facial Treatment Essence #2 Formula 10.0.6 So Totally Clean Everyday Cleanser Sensitive Formula

Btw i'm totally sold to the Formula 10.0.6 Everyday Cleanser ! It's so awesome idk how can i describe it. It kinda smells a tad too weird imho but it smells better than SK II and its leave my skin really baby smooth after usage. And the best thing of all ? It kinda "removes" those little fabrics that tend to stay on our skin especially after washing our faces. Its tested and proven by Brenda and myself.

MOISTURISING/ESSENCE.

#1 Clinique Moisturising Lotion #2 Loreal Revital Lift #3 BioEssence Tanaka White Double Action Essence
#1 BioEssence Radiant Youth Essence #2 BioEssence Perfect Brilliance Serum #3 SK II Cellumination Essence

Anyway, i'm in the hunt for a really good and hopefully one that works almost instantly, pimple gel haha. I heard raves for Formula 10.0.6 Pimple Gel and Mario Badescu Drying Lotion but i've yet to try them so maybe if you guys happen to know anything bout these 2 products or have any other products to recommend, don't hesitate to leave me a comment aye ? I don't bite (:

C72 – A self manufactured collection !

C71 - A self manufactured collection !

Anyway, a mini update for those who aren't following me on FB, FS, or Twitter, i've found a full time job ! All thanks to Wenya. And the best thing ? She's gonna be joining me come the end of August. Oh btw, my company is still on the look for more staffs, so if you're keen in working in Ubi, buzz me so i can fill you guys in on the various available positions (:

83/11 Sierra Wing Social Night

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Shampoo makes me fat ?

The truth about 'chemical calories' in beauty products

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2013283/Is-shampoo-making-FAT-The-truth-chemical-calories-beauty-products.html

WOAH NAIS.

Hang on

just a few days more.

Angsty much

I'm not trying to be a bitch, but srsly, the last thing i ever needed is someone to command/ instruct/ demand me to blog. Look, i spend almost 11 hours of my day at work. And fyi, weekends INCLUSIVE. And i get ONE day off once every 7-12 days.

wake up. report for work. end work. home. sleep.
wake up. report for work. end work. home. sleep.

and the cycle goes on and on

Or you want an entry like the above ? Life is really mundane and not worthy of blogging now. Day offs are spent nua-ing at home, catching shows on Funshion, that's all. If you guys had followed my formspring or blog hard enough, you would know i'm tied up with work cause i've mentioned that many times before. And it shouldn't be hard to follow since i don't update that often. Think, i don't even have time for MissFayne, let alone blog right ? Perhaps you guys can tell me what you want me to blog about and i will do up an entry with regards to your request. Cause frankly speaking, i really don't know what to blog about.



If you're keen on how i'm doing with my diets, then i had to disappoint you cause i've stopped dieting like since damn long ago. I'm fat like a ball. Ball face, ball stomach, ball ass. HAHA. And yes, that's me. At 58kg, just a few days ago. You can laugh if you want. If youre thinking that i'm pushing it out on purpose, fuck you srsly. Who in their right state of mind would lie bout being fat ? I'm just damn awesome at tucking in the stomach.

Anyway, since i'm blogging now, i might as well use this chance to enquire bout some stuffs (: I'm actually planning of joining a gym membership. But because i work almost daily, my best bet is that i will only head down to the gym prolly only once a week, after 9pm or before 10am. Any gym recommendations ? Feel free to pop by my formspring and tell me what you think k ! Whether or not i should join a gym, whether or not you think i am fat, or whatever. Just ask away ! I'll be more than happy to get your answer your questions ♥

I’m back and fat.

Came across this on tumblr and i thought i might post it up.

Tip to lose weight

Repeat this exercise everytime youre offered something to eat

First turn your head to the left. Then turn it to the right.

Happy buys

not so pretty (as claimed by kel) iphone case for yours truly and pretty tshirt for the boy ♥

I'm sorry i haven't been blogging proper lately but work's been taking a major toll on me so photos first, words later ! (:

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MissFayne Next Launch : 31 May, 6:00PM

Exams are finally fucking over ! Like yay to freedom ! BUT ! Nay to job hunting and full time working. Anyone got job lobang, please let me know okay ? Full time position, centrally located preferred, but i'm open to any locations also la. Anyway, here's a mini post exam launch (:

And my favourite pieces from this collection ? EVERYTHING ! I totally love everything in this collection that i kept a piece of each design in every colour, haha.

[caption id="attachment_5143" align="aligncenter" width="720" caption="Chiffon Blouse & Mustard Pants"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5144" align="aligncenter" width="720" caption="Chiffon Blouse (seen above) & Polka Dot High Waist Shorts"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5145" align="aligncenter" width="720" caption="Laced Mini, i love this sooooo much that i started wearing it like super long ago haha."][/caption]

Half way point

last three papers before i say goodbye to my student life. i'll be back soon ! (:

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What i wore today

Sonya Tank in Lime, LoveBonito
Tier Pleated Chiffon Mini, Unreleased at MissFayne

Random

Smile Baby Smile

I totally love the way i smiled in this photo. Like wtf ikr. But srsly, i can't remember when was the last time i smiled like that. And, I am super super SUPER not motivated to study lately. Like look at what am i doing now ?! Blogging at 12midnight when i could have used this time to read another chapter ?! This is really bad cause exams are like less than 10 days away !! I could really do with some love/ encouragements from all of you out there now. Yes. RIGHT NOW. So people, show me some love please - either in the comment box below, or in my formspring, twitter, or fb. Just help me. Help me through this very last lap.

xoxo, fayne
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Happy 4th

for more photos, do check out my facebook (:

Social Night 2011

and ending the post with an epic pic of us

xoxo, fayne
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WIWT (:

"Motivation" for the girl on my FS (:

ok, but i cheated. i sucked in, lol. anyway, the shorts are mad pretty, but its going at SGD42 ):

We ate a cow, like literally.

Need i say more ?

[caption id="attachment_5020" align="aligncenter" width="535" caption="embellished toga drape dress. available in jade, mustard, sweet pink and midnight blue"][/caption]

Blueyes @ Timbre

timbre with the poly fav girls (:

New Layout

[caption id="attachment_5007" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="new layout ! hohoho (:"][/caption]

wintergirl

i am not dead, i am not alive. i am a wintergirl, caught in between two worlds. i am a ghost with a beating heart.

i have so much going through me right now. so many thoughts and feelings. i over-think and im anxious. it's nauseating at times. especially tonight. i've felt on the edge of throwing up from pure mental stress. why is life so complex ? but then again, maybe it's not. maybe i'm just over-thinking everything and overwhelming myself and making it more complex than it is. the more thoughtful a person is, the more complicated the world seems to them. while if you're someone dull and unthoughtful, life would probably seem a lot more simple. i think i’m just going to focus on my goals of weight loss and progressing musically to avoid thinking about my life, my situations and the world i seem to dislike so immensely. if i focus on those two things, maybe everything else will just disappear and cease to matter. maybe they’ll cease to wear me down emotionally.

Get rid of belly rolls

LIAR !! I DID EVERYTHING HE SUGGESTED BEFORE AND I STILL HAVE THE DAMN TUMTUM !

I almost died

when ordinary is never good enough

i really wanna rant, but i don't quite know where to start. i feel like i need to write something significant to draw a parallel with the jumbled mess inside my head but no matter how many things i need to say i just can’t seem to find the words to truly explain the way i’m feeling right now.

one thing i understand about me is that i will never be able to understand myself. or rather, never be able to understand my fucked up relationship with food and body image. i don’t know when it all went so wrong. was it one significant thing ? was i born like it ? or is it just little things that built up without me even realising ?

to be perfectly honest, sometimes ignorance is bliss. i feel like the more i learn about my disorder, the further away from it i’m becoming, i don't want that to happen. it sounds stupid but i am nothing without it. it is etched into my soul and without it i’m just average, completely insignificant and i HATE the word F-A-T.

the whole time i had everyone telling me how much happier i’d be when i was at a normal weight, that they understand what i’m going through. to be frank, they don’t know shit. they dont know that when they tell me i look healthy, they are breaking my heart. they don’t realise that for a girl like me to be called normal is like calling a fat person a pig.

everyday i’m faced with a person that i don't recognise anymore. i was never big. i was always slightly skinnier than average. but most of the time i cant even look in the mirror without having a breakdown. i used to have all the confidence in the world and they took it away from me. how could they tell me that this was going to make me happy when it shattered every hope i’ve ever had. skinny is the only hope i have at being happy. when they took it away from me i fear that they took it away forever.

all my hard work for months are gone just because they were scared of something they didn't understand. my doctor told me if this goes on, i'll die. with every second that passes, i'm a second closer to death. that’s a fact of life. when i was happy with my body, i would stop and try to maintain it. i wasn't gonna let myself die. but right now, i', losing my grip over everything and i wish for death, although tbh i already feel pretty dead inside.

i’ve felt hurt and anger and utter hopelessness. i felt frustrated and heartbroken and depressed.

they think that just because i’m not skinny anymore, i’ll turn back into the person i was before this whole thing started ? that’s not gonna happen. i’m so resentful to them for what they’ve done to me that sometimes i can barely function. this is MY body. i should be able to do what i want with it. i was so close to my dream and they snatched it away from me and they just expect me to love them, and THANK them for saving my life.

this time i’m more determined than ever. i’m gonna get back on track,i’m gonna do this now, i’m gonna show them all what i’m capable of.

This is so triggering

so damn triggering that is scares me.

Meals For The Day

Breakfast : Buttermilk Pancake & Scrambled Eggs topped with Bacon Bits

Betty Crocker’s Buttermilk Complete Pancake Mix (10 tablespoons): 380 Calories / Butter (1/2 tablespoon) : 13 Calories / Eggs (3 medium): 210 Calories / Master Pura Skimmed Milk (3 tablespoons): 6 Calories / Bacos Bacon Bits (30g) : 30 Calories

Serves : 2 / 320kcal per serving

Dinner : Mongkok Cafe Chicken Pasta in Tomato Sauce

I don't know the exact calories (for dinner) but given the mega portion of the pasta, it should be at least 5-600kcal, and also the fried seafood ham rolls. I know you would say things like i can just have half of it but no my parents made me finish up the whole plate. So better not count the calorie intake, else i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight heh. Diet shall start tomorrow !

No to food. Yes to thin.

my whole life revolves around food. can i eat that ? should i eat that ? how many calories will i have to burn of after eating that ? how many tenths of a pound might i gain ? will i be able to stop myself after just ONE cookie ? for once, just once, id like to be able to eat normally, with no guilt attached and without hating myself after. but i know that will NEVER happen. which is why id rather not eat at all.