Social Night 2011

and ending the post with an epic pic of us

xoxo, fayne
blogged from wordpress app

WIWT (:

"Motivation" for the girl on my FS (:

ok, but i cheated. i sucked in, lol. anyway, the shorts are mad pretty, but its going at SGD42 ):

We ate a cow, like literally.

Need i say more ?

[caption id="attachment_5020" align="aligncenter" width="535" caption="embellished toga drape dress. available in jade, mustard, sweet pink and midnight blue"][/caption]

Blueyes @ Timbre

timbre with the poly fav girls (:

New Layout

[caption id="attachment_5007" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="new layout ! hohoho (:"][/caption]

wintergirl

i am not dead, i am not alive. i am a wintergirl, caught in between two worlds. i am a ghost with a beating heart.

i have so much going through me right now. so many thoughts and feelings. i over-think and im anxious. it's nauseating at times. especially tonight. i've felt on the edge of throwing up from pure mental stress. why is life so complex ? but then again, maybe it's not. maybe i'm just over-thinking everything and overwhelming myself and making it more complex than it is. the more thoughtful a person is, the more complicated the world seems to them. while if you're someone dull and unthoughtful, life would probably seem a lot more simple. i think i’m just going to focus on my goals of weight loss and progressing musically to avoid thinking about my life, my situations and the world i seem to dislike so immensely. if i focus on those two things, maybe everything else will just disappear and cease to matter. maybe they’ll cease to wear me down emotionally.

Get rid of belly rolls

LIAR !! I DID EVERYTHING HE SUGGESTED BEFORE AND I STILL HAVE THE DAMN TUMTUM !

I almost died

when ordinary is never good enough

i really wanna rant, but i don't quite know where to start. i feel like i need to write something significant to draw a parallel with the jumbled mess inside my head but no matter how many things i need to say i just can’t seem to find the words to truly explain the way i’m feeling right now.

one thing i understand about me is that i will never be able to understand myself. or rather, never be able to understand my fucked up relationship with food and body image. i don’t know when it all went so wrong. was it one significant thing ? was i born like it ? or is it just little things that built up without me even realising ?

to be perfectly honest, sometimes ignorance is bliss. i feel like the more i learn about my disorder, the further away from it i’m becoming, i don't want that to happen. it sounds stupid but i am nothing without it. it is etched into my soul and without it i’m just average, completely insignificant and i HATE the word F-A-T.

the whole time i had everyone telling me how much happier i’d be when i was at a normal weight, that they understand what i’m going through. to be frank, they don’t know shit. they dont know that when they tell me i look healthy, they are breaking my heart. they don’t realise that for a girl like me to be called normal is like calling a fat person a pig.

everyday i’m faced with a person that i don't recognise anymore. i was never big. i was always slightly skinnier than average. but most of the time i cant even look in the mirror without having a breakdown. i used to have all the confidence in the world and they took it away from me. how could they tell me that this was going to make me happy when it shattered every hope i’ve ever had. skinny is the only hope i have at being happy. when they took it away from me i fear that they took it away forever.

all my hard work for months are gone just because they were scared of something they didn't understand. my doctor told me if this goes on, i'll die. with every second that passes, i'm a second closer to death. that’s a fact of life. when i was happy with my body, i would stop and try to maintain it. i wasn't gonna let myself die. but right now, i', losing my grip over everything and i wish for death, although tbh i already feel pretty dead inside.

i’ve felt hurt and anger and utter hopelessness. i felt frustrated and heartbroken and depressed.

they think that just because i’m not skinny anymore, i’ll turn back into the person i was before this whole thing started ? that’s not gonna happen. i’m so resentful to them for what they’ve done to me that sometimes i can barely function. this is MY body. i should be able to do what i want with it. i was so close to my dream and they snatched it away from me and they just expect me to love them, and THANK them for saving my life.

this time i’m more determined than ever. i’m gonna get back on track,i’m gonna do this now, i’m gonna show them all what i’m capable of.

This is so triggering

so damn triggering that is scares me.

Meals For The Day

Breakfast : Buttermilk Pancake & Scrambled Eggs topped with Bacon Bits

Betty Crocker’s Buttermilk Complete Pancake Mix (10 tablespoons): 380 Calories / Butter (1/2 tablespoon) : 13 Calories / Eggs (3 medium): 210 Calories / Master Pura Skimmed Milk (3 tablespoons): 6 Calories / Bacos Bacon Bits (30g) : 30 Calories

Serves : 2 / 320kcal per serving

Dinner : Mongkok Cafe Chicken Pasta in Tomato Sauce

I don't know the exact calories (for dinner) but given the mega portion of the pasta, it should be at least 5-600kcal, and also the fried seafood ham rolls. I know you would say things like i can just have half of it but no my parents made me finish up the whole plate. So better not count the calorie intake, else i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight heh. Diet shall start tomorrow !

No to food. Yes to thin.

my whole life revolves around food. can i eat that ? should i eat that ? how many calories will i have to burn of after eating that ? how many tenths of a pound might i gain ? will i be able to stop myself after just ONE cookie ? for once, just once, id like to be able to eat normally, with no guilt attached and without hating myself after. but i know that will NEVER happen. which is why id rather not eat at all.

Overcoming the Weight Loss Plateau

Extracted from TheBettyLife, one of the girls whom inspired me to exercise to lose weight.

So your working out every day, you are watching your calorie intake and eating the healthiest things you can find. You are doing everything you can to lose weight, but the scales just ain’t budging. Sound familiar? You have hit a weight loss plateau.

At the beginning of your weight loss journey the pounds will drop of the quickest, mainly because there is a lot of fat to go! Your lifestyle has changed from sedentary to active so your body responds to this dramatic change by burning off your excess fat stores. Likewise, if you cut out the junk food you are not making any more fat. Win win.

However, as time progresses, your body is getting comfortable with this new routine, and it is finding ways to become more efficient. It is getting accustomed to the daily calories in verses the calories out, and during workouts fewer calories are burnt each time. This is when we hit a plateau.

Hitting a plateau is not always a bad thing. Your body has lost a lot of weight and taking time to readjust to this can be beneficial. It can teach you the importance of maintenance, as this is probably the hardest part of losing weight and keeping the weight off. As long as your weight doesn’t fluctuate, staying at the same weight for a few months will not hinder your weight loss in the long run.

How to overcome the plateau ?


Mix things up! I have learnt this from experience. During October 2010 I challenged myself to see how many miles I could run and how running affected my fitness levels. In 3 weeks I had covered 78.4 miles, sweated buckets, but unfortunately no weight loss was achieved. This was me hitting a plateau. Every day on the treadmill, my body was becoming better at what I was putting it through. Yes my fitness levels improved and I could run for miles, but weight loss wise this was not beneficial.

At the time I could comfortably run for 30 minutes at 10 mph, but stick me on an exercise bike and I would struggle.

After the month was up I stepped away from the treadmill and I added in a variety of different workouts. Swimming, exercise bike, stepper, yoga… This to me was a challenge, as new muscle groups were being used – it awakens your body again as it does when you first begin to lose weight.

Are you eating too much? At the end of the day calories are calories. Of course, healthy calories are far more beneficial and less damaging to the body than those calories with added saturated fat, salt and sugars. However, to achieve weight loss a calorie deficit needs to be reached. To lose one pound you need to burn 3,500 calories. Impossible in a day, but over a week or so it is possible to burn 7,000 calories (and not eat them again!) to lose 2 pounds.

Eating too much food in general will cause minimum weight loss. Check your potion sizes, half your plate should be vegetables, 1/4 protein and 1/4 carbs. Opt for fruit and nuts as healthy snacks.

Are you eating enough? If you are not eating enough calories per day, you will have little energy to workout efficiently. If we stop eating, our bodies go into ‘starvation mode’ – which is where it stores as much fat as possible in order to survive. Eating a good healthy breakfast will kick-start your metabolism and ensure that you are burning calories throughout the entire day. Eating regularly also helps, try to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with a few healthy snacks in between.

Keep a food diary. If there was a secret to weight loss. This would be it. When I decided to lose weight, the only thing that kept me on track and accountable for everything I did was a food diary. www.livestrong.com has a great web-based version with every food imaginable on there. I religiously recorded my food in take along with my calories burnt for the first five or six months to get an idea of my eating habits. It was a great motivator for me as if I ate that chocolate bar, I would need to tell livestrong. After a while you realise how many calories are in certain foods, the foods you cannot eat as often, and the foods to stay well clear of.

Resistance Training. I hate doing weights at the gym. So I simply avoided them. To me they were a struggle and I saw no purpose in them, as I didn’t want beefy arms or massive legs. However, this attitude was wrong. Weights don’t beef you up unless you do them every single day and you lift ridiculously heavy ones.

Using weights is the quickest way to change the shape of your body. Incorpating a weights routine into your workout is highly recommended for weight loss. It tones your muscles, makes you appear slimmer and firmer, and muscles burn more calories than fat alone. They are hard, you will sweat, but it is the best way to boost weight loss for noticable results.

I use weights at home with Davina DVD’s – Body Buff is my new favourite. I would also recommend her Super Body Workout as there is a section called Super Sculpt which really works. On top of that swimming is a form of gentle resistance training, as well as yoga and pilates. All of these will tone up your entire body.

Don’t be discouraged. Finally, if you have hit the plateau, you can view it as a good thing. You do not have that much weight left to lose. You are losing it slow and sensibly which will mean it will stay off. All exercise you are doing is improving your fitness levels and keeping you fit and healthy. Keep it up!

Oh anyway, i personally think MyFitnessPal is better than LiveStrong, so you guys can go play around with the various journals and decide for yourself (:

C69 : CNY #1

WE HAVE LAUNCHED ! (like finally haha)
http://missfayne.livejournal.com/98038.html

Work work and more work

working on sociology assignment, and also invoicing at missfayne at the same time. haha.

Fried Magee !

Myojo Chicken Abalone Magee (1 pack): 368 Calories / Egg (1 medium): 70 Calories / Luncheon Meat (1/8 can) : 120 Calories / Butter (3/4 tablespoon): 20 Calories / Woh Hup Oyster Sauce (1/2 tablespoon): 8 Calories

Serves : 1/ 586kcal per serving

Fried Oreos !

Per piece of non-fried oreo is 55kcal, and when stuffs are fried, the amount of calories kinda doubled to tripled so i'm guessing this very delicious-crunchy-sweet-yet-mad-sinful snack will be approximately 100-200kcal ? Time to head off for a short run ! It's always better to burn some calories than never burn at all LOL !!