Yet another useless piece of shit

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I know i haven't bloggest for the longest time. It's just that recently, i seriously am not in the mood to blog, at all ! It's 38 days more to the finals and i haven't touched my books ever since my prelims ended. I've tried, but i seem to have lost the vibes all of a sudden.

I seriously don't know what was i doing all these while. Frankly speaking, i feel that i have totally no goals in my life. I am currently 20 turning 21 and i've never accomplished anything decent or worth appraisal at all. I'm a 101% slacker weak-brained when it comes to studies. I get panic attacks in the exam halls. Even if i don't, the questions on the script would appear oh-so-unfamiliar. No matter how hard i mug, even if i mugged my ass out, i am unable to achieve a decent result. I'm an internet-whore, and a couch potato - idling away, always not making full use of my free time. And and, i can't even whip up a proper meal ! Sometimes, i can't help but feel that i am really a major failure.

Mommy is saying that I'm feeling all emo-padawan cause Baby just left for Brunei but no Mom, i seriously is in need of a direction, in my life.

Yes you can say i still have my online store but it is now unable to go any higher due to the extremely saturated market and intense competition. I do not steal emails and spam like what most new shops are doing cause i've been spammed enough to know how irritating it is to have hundreds of emails from shops which i've never ever subscribed to. I've tried all proper and ethical means to gain publicity but these new stores seems to rise faster and higher than I am. Do i really need to go for plastic before i am pretty enough to gain enough publicity for the shop ?

Struggling. With all these new shops bursting out, and setting their prices at a ridiculously low margin, i have no other choice but to lower my margin to somewhere in between the correct margin and the market price. But with that, other shops who are stuck with the goods cause they are selling slightly higher, complain to the supplier and i am asked to increase my margin. The supplier says she'll not supply to the shops who refused to budge and this standardisation of margin range will reduce the number of 'wounds' in this current price war.

Seriously, what do i have to gain for being sucha ethical and co-operative ? I really wonder.. I do understand my supplier's stand, and i feel for them too. I've co-operated and did the necessary adjustments, and i haven't had a single order since then. What have the other shops done ? I guess there's no need to think further - Nothing. Enlighten me, but why is yours truly - the one who is ethical, who worked painstakingly to bring MissFayne into what it is today, has to be the one to suffer from this ridiculous price war ?

And it seriously sucks that despite all these shits i'm facing, i still have to put on a strong front in front of everyone else. No, i'm not putting the blame on anybody, neither am i pinpointing/ referring to anyone in particular. In fact, i'm pretty thankful for the supportive friends and returning customers who stood by me all these while, giving words of encouragement, who introduced MissFayne to their families and friends. All these lil actions may seem nothing to most of you, but it sure meant alot to me, and to MissFayne. But somehow, things still ain't going back on track.

When i was out sourcing for stocks in the past, i'll never ever have to worry bout having excess stocks piling, but every now and then i get so worried and panicky bout things not selling. My room is now packed with of moutains and moutains of apparels. Although, things are not that bad to the extent of making losses, but i sersiously need to get something moving.

It's not about getting back my capital or what nots. It's really got nothing to do with any monetary involvement. I came up with MissFayne over interest and passion. But every inch of hardwork i put in, is dampening the vibe i used to have.

Perhaps, i could only blame myself for not being capable enough, and not having a pretty face.

Or perhaps, i should just put MissFayne to an end...

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